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Kay told me that she was afraid to go with you. I asked her why.“Because my own voices have returned,” Kay said to me.“We all hear voices Kay,” I replied. I wrapped her in my arms as I added, “It is up to us whether we listen to them or not,” I replied.Kay asked me if I heard voices as well. I told her I did however; I did not tell her my voices were the words I said to John when I was Carrie to him. I reached into my purse and I took out a small vial of coke and gave it to her.“Do a small bit of this and the voices will go away,” I said to her.“WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?” John screamed at me as he stopped typing.For the first time in my life with John, I feared him. He had never looked at me with those eyes of his filled with hate and anger as he did now. I have been with this man for 29 years and never had I feared him as I did now.Fear paralyzed me as John shook his head and he asked, “Why Cathy?” Why would you do that?”“Out of my love for you,” I yelled as I broke down into. My mom is the gardener and has always stayed at home. She watched both of us and, later, my sister and Ginny's brother. There were always flowers around our houses. Mom also kept a vegetable garden in the back. There was an open field behind our subdivision and dad bought a three acre piece of it behind both our houses for mom to grow more vegetables and fruit on. That was back when we were little, and land was a lot cheaper.There is a huge old live oak back there. It marked the edge of our property. Ginny and I spent a lot of time alone there. That wasn't till we were six though, and Mom trusted us to be out there on our own. Before that we used to play in Ginny's yard, as ours was all garden. At three and four years old, we terrorized the squirrels and birds, chasing them all around the yard, and screaming and hollering. We laughed at them and thought it quite funny.We had a big old female cat, Gerty. She spent a lot of time in the garden, resting in the shade out of the heat and.
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